Thursday, November 04, 2004

Missionary Veal

From Reuters:
TAIPEI, Taiwan - A man leaped into a lion’s den at the Taipei Zoo on Wednesday to try to convert the king of beasts to Christianity, but was bitten in the leg for his efforts.

“Jesus will save you!” shouted the 46-year-old man at two African lions lounging under a tree a few meters away.

“Come bite me!” he said with both hands raised, television footage showed.

One of the lions, a large male with a shaggy mane, bit the man in his right leg before zoo workers drove it off with water hoses and tranquilizer guns.

Newspapers said that the lions had been fed earlier in the day, otherwise the man might have been more seriously hurt ... or worse.

I know that after reading this story, literally hundreds of you are preparing to head down to your local zoo or wildlife park and convert lions to Christianity. While confident promotional leaflets with articles like "Zebras or Salvation?" and "Roar in the Name of Jesus" may fill you with proselytizing zeal, I have prepared a cautionary information sheet that is absolutely essential. I highly recommend that you print this out, laminate it if necessary, and keep it in your wallet at all times.

WE SEE........................................................................LIONS SEE
David Beckham, International Soccer Superstar.....Lunch
Siegfried and Roy, Famous Lion Tamers.................Lunch
Mel Gibson, Superstar Actor.........................................Lunch
Ken Burns, Revered Documentary Filmmaker.........Lunch
Calista Flockhart, Star of Allie McBeal........................A Nacho
The Three Tenors, Opera Legends............................Thanksgiving

No need to thank me. I'm here to serve.

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